


Falling in Love

by iamatheatrekid



Category: Little Women (1994), Little Women (2017), Little Women (2018), Little Women (2019), Little Women Series - Louisa May Alcott
Genre: As it should be, Before Meg's Wedding, Beth hasn't died (yet), Coming Out, Figuring out Feelings/Sexualities, Lesbian Beth March, Still the 1800s, the rest of them are straight :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:14:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25230718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamatheatrekid/pseuds/iamatheatrekid
Summary: Beth doesn't know why her sisters are off falling in love and making advancements in their lives, but she's the one that has to be behind. At least, until her and Jo talk about it in their soon-to-be-abandoned attic.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	Falling in Love

Everything was changing. Quickly, but manageable for some. Not Beth. Beth was not fond of change, and never was. She would stay thirteen with no way in the world playing in the attic with her sisters forever if she could. But, that could not be her reality. She could ignore the fact that she was becoming a young woman all she wanted, but her sisters were itching to bust out of their childhood home and selves. Everything was changing.

Meg would be the first to leave them. Fallen in love. Getting married. Beth was sure Amy would be next—for the marriage part, at least. Amy would leave them for love and start a family of her own, just like Meg. It was all the two ever wanted. Jo would leave them soon to become a grand writer in New York. And Beth believed that, deep down, despite all that she sweared, Jo would find love one day. But why wouldn’t Beth?

The house already felt emptier. No one had left, but the silence they sat in awaiting an absence nipped at the girls at every moment. The attic was no longer filled with the spirit it once had, it lacked the child-like wonder that it used to inhabit. Even with all four girls sitting inside. Even though there was still one child among them—Beth.

“What it like, being in love?” Amy asked with a devilish grin.

Meg laughed. “Wouldn’t you know?” The classic March wit that even she had inherited in her elegance.

“I doubt I’m in love.”

“I don’t know what being in love is like,” Beth said in a quiet hush.

Jo heard, Jo always heard. “You’re too young to worry about love,” She soothed.

“Amy’s been in love.”

“Have not!” Amy yelped back.

“Maybe not seriously,” Meg laughed again.

Jo threw whatever piece of grass that was clinging to her in Amy’s direction. It fell short of her. “You like every boy you meet.”

“Not _every_ boy.”

“Fine, every rich boy then.”

Beth was going to miss Meg’s laugh. She would miss everything about her, but her laugh filled the room with so much richness. She had nearly forgotten that that laugh was leaving her until Meg turned to say, “You still don’t have to worry about love yet, Beth.”

“You also never leave the house; how could you fall in love with anyone when you’re only around us and Laurie?” Amy had bounced back from Jo’s teasing, she always did. Beth was going red from the light fun.

“And don’t go falling in love with Laurie,” Jo warned.

Amy continued on, “The last time you were really out of the house was in school, but there were only girls there.”

“Beth can’t help that she’s shy.” Meg took note of the little things, like how tightly Beth began to hold her doll at the mention of school.

No one was really sure what went wrong with Beth’s schooling, least of all her. She was the one inside of the schoolroom, sure, but she didn’t know how to make sense of how hot she got when she had to stand in front of the class, or the headache she got being around so many other people, or the tightness in her chest whenever Diana would look at her. With her curls and her frilly dresses and her blue eyes. Beth dreaded the thought of Diana ever looking her way and she clouded her mind throughout every lesson. She just hoped that Diana liked her and she prayed to not make a fool of herself or do anything to make Diana think poorly of her. But, it didn’t work. And maybe now Diana had fallen in love and Beth was still behind.

“I’m just saying that maybe, if she wants to find love, she should get out more.” Amy was still rattling on, but Diana was now on Beth’s mind and it was hard to get her out. Especially when her doll’s curls were done in the same ringlets and Beth was now wondering if they felt the same as Diana’s would. “We’re both of the age to go to balls, there’s plenty of young gentlemen to meet there.”

“Or,” and off Jo went like a tea kettle, “Beth doesn’t have to fall in love. Why are we so obsessed with the idea that a woman needs a man to satisfy her?”

Amy groaned. “Do you want to fall in love, Beth?” Jo went to clarify.

She’s said it before, and she would continue to say it forever. “Boys scare me.”

“As they should.” Jo started to settle back into her seat.

Boys did scare her, and girls too—in a different way. Diana wasn’t scary, but the idea of her own beautiful eyes on Beth’s made her stomach hurt. No boys had ever made her feel like that, she couldn’t care less about boys looking at her. She just didn’t know how to talk to boys. Maybe it was because she was only around girls, but Beth didn’t ever want to change that. Girls made her feel good. The girl that sat beside her in school would smile at her sometimes and it always made Beth pleasantly warm. 

“I want to fall in love,” Amy sighed. 

Meg got up and rubbed Amy’s hair as she went. Packing. Wedding planning/ She was leaving them, after all. Amy was close to follow, Meg’s departure sparking her own, just like Beth had predicted their family would fall apart. It was only her and Jo in the attic, waiting for the other to leave before them.

“Have you ever been in love?” Beth asked, bringing back a kind atmosphere. 

Jo forcefully shook her head. “I don’t think so. Liking someone and loving someone is different.”

“You’ve liked someone?” Beth gasped. 

She didn’t believe Jo would actually admit to that, but she did. “Oh yeah. I think everyone’s liked someone before.” 

“I haven’t.”

It felt like they were kids again with Jo turning in her seat to sit with her legs crossed, ready for the gossip.“Oh come _on._ There was to be someone you’ve liked. Or at least found attractive.”

She was back. Diana. The first and only person that popped into Beth’s mind and she quickly escaped through Beth’s lips before she could stop it. 

“Diana.”

Jo immediately recoiled. “What? Diana?” Her nose was scrunched up at Beth. 

“She was a girl at school.”

Beth prayed that Jo didn’t grasp the complexity of what she just admitted to and what it could imply.

“Can you do that?”

She understood.

But, maybe she didn’t.

“Do what?” Beth nearly whispered.

“Like girls.” 

And she did imply what Beth was worried about. 

“No, I don’t—” Beth had to stop herself; had to make sure she wasn’t about to lie. 

Was she?

Did she like Diana? 

Jo kept talking. “That makes perfect sense! You’ve never even thought of boys and were so nervous around all those girls at school!”

Beth was sure that her heart had stopped. Scarlet fever hadn’t killed her, but this could have. 

“You even play with those pretty dolls all the time!” Jo’s eyes were wide with her new discovery.

Beth’s hands felt cold around her doll. The one with Diana’s curls. 

Jo leaned back. “Wow. I didn’t know you could do that.”

“You can’t.” Beth’s face was hot and she felt like she could cry. 

“Why not? You should be able to like whoever you want. Girls can like girls, boys can like boys. No one should be able to dictate who you can love.”

She did cry. This wasn’t something Beth had ever thought of: finding love, but she had been looking in the wrong direction. Jo quickly came over to her and tried squeezing herself into the chair Beth was in. “What’s wrong?” She softly asked.

But there was nothing wrong. Only right. Beth felt a relief that she didn’t even know she needed, and a new hope that she could have a life she never imagined having, be like her sisters for once—a life with love and happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> I dare anyone to tell me that Beth March isn't a lesbian. Send tweet.


End file.
